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Topic: The Diary of Resetti -- Written in a Fred

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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
Dear Diary,

Wait...what am I doing? "Dear Diary?" Oh, BOY. Listen, punk, I'm not gonna write about my secret crushes or my desires or stupid stuff like that! I'm a manly mole! Well, a mole-y mole, I guess. Oh, who cares?! The only reason I'm writin' in this stupid book is because Don made me. Somethin' about stress relief. I'll smack his happy-go-lucky little FACE with a nice, soft tomato and there's my stress relief...Oh, yeah, in case you don't know, Don's my...brother. I'm Resetti. But YOU, my stinkin' little confidante, can call me MISTER Resetti.

What...

What am I doin'?

I'm talkin' to a book.

Do I look like I got time to talk to a book? No, no I don't. I got a life to live. I got children to scare the life out of. Oh, yeah, you don't know about that scaring part. I'm not a ghost, even though I might'a sounded a little creepy. See. I'm a hero. A superhero, I guess. I ain't got no cape, but I'll fly through those tunnels! When somebody resets their game or forgets to save, I pop up and give them a good talkin'-to! And lately I've been givin' out grammar tips as a little bonus. Because nobody ain't got no grammar knowledge no more.

And I'm not gonna call you Diary. You're not a pansy book. If you were Don's book, you'd be a pansy book. But you're my book. So your name's Fred, now. DEAL WITH IT. Not that you can protest. You're a stinkin' book.

Oh, good, Don said I've written enough for today, so I'll shut up now. But still, he wanted me to make sure I "said goodnight." Oh, BOY.

Well, goodnight.

Oh, and one more thing...

If you DARE post any of this stuff on some extremely popular forum about Animal Crossing, our realm, ya won't like what I'll do! You won't like Resetti when he's angry! He starts speaking in third person!

Now...SCRAM!



Author's Note

Hey! Since I finished my newest story, I thought I'd repost this one, since one version of it was pretty popular once. I doubt it will be now that the board has died down, but who knows! I hope you enjoy this...weirdness. XD
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slrandall
 
Name
MissSue
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 9:09am
I remember!!
Keep 'em coming please.
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
Dear Fred

  It's been a rough day today. Way too much resetting. It takes some twisted little punkola to take time and space and shred them to pieces with the push of a button. And I'm POSITIVE some people are doing it JUST to make me mad. No one listens. No one CARES. AND IT MAKES RESETTI MAD. ARRRRRRRGH


*somewhere outside the diary entry...*
"Brother, you're scribblin' awfully hard in that diary, you're not yellin' at it, are ya? You've only had it two days..."
"Uh, I'm just bein'...uh...expressive, Don. Yeah. Reeeeal expressive..."
*back into the diary entry...*

  Lemme tell ya, that Don ain't no more helpful. He wants me to treat you like you're my first-born child or something. Fred, let me ask you something, mole-to-book. How many children ha-OK, wait, imagine yourself in a scenario where you're actually alive and ya see children every day. Now, how many parents relieve their stress by writing on their children? How many converse their problems with their children?

They don't.

Why?

Because the child IS the stress.

And he won't sit still enough to get written on.

And what sicko writes on their kid?

  Lemme tell ya a little more about my job and about these kids that make my life a misery. I'm hanging out in the Reset Surveillance Center when all of a sudden, someone resets their game and this siren goes off and the red light goes flashing like some punk in a football field being chased by security...

IT'S SO BRIGHT, IT HURTS MY BRAIN!!~


  Oh. Woudlja look at that. My pencil broke and I had to go and get a new one. I can't help but feel that's gonna bother me a lot in the future. But anyways...
  I tunnel through with the help of my super-duper Launchpad Chair and I'm sent straight to the front lawn of some twerp who decided to wreck time and space. Then I yell at him a little bit and tunnel back down. Whatta life, am I right?

  Oh, good, Don said I can be done. So goodnight, Fred. Oh, and...one...last thing before I go.

I normally don't issue complaints about "your, you're" and "there, they're, their," but just keep in mind...there's a problem when they're not using their grammar right there! It makes them look stupid. You don't wanna look stupid, do ya, Fred? You're MY book.

Now...
SCRAM!!!!!
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Bbykat51
 
Name
Kassie
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 5:59pm
Dear Fred, I'm afraid Mr. Resetti has dropped you. I think along with you, I'll send him a box of pencils. I think he's going to need them.
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ILoveACCF
 
Name
Carole
ACNH Town
Last Active
5/21 4:24am
I absolutely love the characterisation in this. The dialogue genuinely sounds like something that'd be in the games. A few notes though.

"But YOU, my stinkin' little confidante"
Really strange, nitpicky note to make here. "Confidante" with an E is usually in reference to a woman. It's one of those nouns in the English language that actually has a gender, similar to that of European nouns. "Confidant" is the masculine equivalent. That said this isn't a set in stone rule, so take it as you will.

"If you DARE post any of this stuff on some extremely popular forum about Animal Crossing, our realm, ya won't like what I'll do! "
I absolutely love fourth wall breaks when they work. And this one is funny. However, not sure if I'd call Animal Crossing Community extremely popular. However, I have been here for (not checking my profile so just an estimate) 6 years, and I've seen how popular it once was, but I digress.

I guess my question now is, is this going to develop into a narrative (is it going to tell a story of sorts) or is it just going to keep being Resetti's incoherent thoughts and feelings? There's no problem either way, I'm just interested.
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slrandall
 
Name
MissSue
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 9:09am
I can't wait to see what he writes after a visitor from the world above.
Maybe even what he thinks of his location in the town.
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Bbykat51
 
Name
Kassie
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 5:59pm
That really would be a great idea Miss Sue!
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
Oh, that's right! I did do that! Would that mean I'm going to have to write all new chapters for the viewers? Hmmmmmmmm...


Thanks, Sheerol! I appreciate that! I hate getting grammar and spelling wrong, so thanks so much!

As far as AC forums go, ACC is pretty popular, I guess. Not nearly so much as it was.


Next chapter will hopefully be up soon!
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
The fresh air...the birds what with their chirping...the blue sky...

It gives me the sneezes.

  I'm usually only half-out of the ground, and when I am this time of year, I sniff and snort until my sniffer can't snort no more. Butterflies gather around me because I'm sitting in a field of flowers per Don's recommendation I go outside and find a "peaceful" place. Bunnie said I looked "totally adorable." I apparently did not SOUND adorable, because it wasn't long after until she ran away. I think she's scared of me now. Serves her right. Maybe she was scared because this field of flowers is her garden. Maybe I should get off the kid's blue cosmos. Yeah. Don't think that's growing back. Oops.
  I took the day off today, and Don's taking over for me. It's been relaxing, but also boring as all get-out. I went out and got a coffee and that's been about the highlight of my day. Met  Ethan again and had a little chat with him. That little punk, he's all right. He doesn't reset too much, but he's done some other things in his past that I'm not too proud of him for. He's only reset on purpose once, according to him, but the siren certainly went off twice. I betcha he's a liar. Lies like a cowhide rug. Why do I see those in cows' homes anyway? And cow skulls! It's so sick! IT'S SO WEIRD! COWS ARE WEIRD, FRED, DON'T BE FOOLED BY THEIR CHARMS~
  Ugh, I broke my pencil and had to borrow someone else's. This chick named Coco let me use hers. She...she and I met before. She doesn't talk much. When you meet her, you'll see why, the poor thing. I've never had to lecture her before, and boy I'm glad of it. She'd cry her poor eyes out. Eyes? I think she's got eyes. Eye holes. Kinda like a...gyroid. A, uh, pretty gyroid, of course. Like Lloid. He's not ugly. Real polite. Busts my chops.
  Well, I think I wrote enough. I can't this fresh air and bright sunshine. Moles belong underground.

One more thing before I go...

Borrowin' ain't the same as stealin'. Make sure you get permission before you take something of someone else's, ya hear me?

Now...
SCRAM!!!!!
_________________

Dear Fred

  If it's all right, Mr. Fred, I'd like you to pass on a message to Mr. Resetti for me. I'll write it down here if that's ok. I'm Coco, by the way.
  I saw that Mr. Resetti dropped his book as he was tunneling, apparently. There was a lone book in Acre B-3 and it was you, Fred. I'm sure he didn't mean to drop you. He seems to be taking good care of you besides this iron grip on your edges.
  Well, I'm secretly really into literature and...and...I thought Mr. Resetti was writing a story! So I picked it up and began reading through it, even though I know I shouldn't have...and I'm sorry I did. I didn't know it was Mr. Resetti's private book and I'm very, very, VERY sorry. Please ask him to forgive me. I don't mean to make him angry and I thought...I thought I should confess. I'm very, very, very, very, VERY sorry.
  However, I wasn't...very happy about his comment about my appearance. On the inside, I'm just as normal as any other rabbit. I was named Coco because I look like a coconut. I was born with this face, and I believe it's the one I'm meant to have, and it's not nice to make fun of people like that. Please let him know that my feelings are a little bit hurt not only by him...but by everyone else who thinks or says that. I don't mean to scare people. I just want to be friends.
  I'm sorry for going on like this...it's just something I wanted off of my chest.

And one more thing...

I have a friend that's a cow. They aren't real cow skulls and the rugs are faux. It's, um, irony, or something. Please don't insult them either.

Now...um...goodbye.
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slrandall
 
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MissSue
ACNL Town
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Bbykat51
 
Name
Kassie
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 5:59pm
I love that you are writing this again! SO Funny!
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
I'm actually mostly reposting the story, but I may revise it some or post some additions.

Like this one:


Dear Fred,

Yeowch! I threw out my back this mornin' lecturin' some resettin' punk. I musta' twisted myself the wrong way or somethin', but somethin's sure...it hurts. OH, how it hurts.

You know how much it hurts? No. You're a book, which you really don't need 'ta be reminded of. Lemme tell ya how much it hurts. It's like takin' my pickax~

Well. My pencil done broke again. They're way too cheap to work. They must be No. 0.02 pencils! Ha ha ha ha~

What?! AG-~

OK, OK, I'm done. This is just makin' me more stressed. Doc wants me to relax a while. No, not that blue rabbit, the doctor, genius!! Phew. Sorry about that, Fred. The doc told me he wants me to just sit out my resettin' duties today and wait 'til tomorrow when it should be fine. I guess he knows best. I'm just glad doctors still give advice over the phone!

Speakin' of advice, I'll leave you with this before I hit the sack...

Respect the folks in authority...even if they're idiots!

We clear? Good!

Now...
SCRAM!!!!
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KorruptedFiles
 
Name
Matt
ACWW Town
Last Active
11/11/2016 11:24am
"Doc wants me to relax a while. No, not that blue rabbit, the doctor, genius!!"
That made me laugh out loud
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
Dear Fred,

  Well, I...just checked back a few pages and...I guess ya got introduced to Coco! I didn't want you to meet ANYBODY, but what kinda writer keeps his stories concealed!? A dumb one, that's who! UNLESS HE'S WRITING A DIARY JOURNAL.
  But now I betcha she's REAL mad at me. Thanks a lot, Fred. You're really good at keepin' secrets. I thought doin' what you're told NOT to do was HUMAN nature, but I guess Freds of any species are born with this rebellious little punkitude. I guess I should go and apologize to Coco. ..........I'll just wait 'til it blows off.
  But Coco aside, lemme tell ya about Don! Ya thought he was weird before! THINK AGAIN, FRED. HE'S CRACKED AT LAS~

  Arrrrgh! These stupid pencils are so annoying! I gotta start a WHOLE new paragraph or everything looks WEIRD. AND I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN THINGS ARE OUT OF PLACE, GET M~

  ARRRGH!!! OK...calm down, Resetti...breathe...breathe...phew. I'm ok. But back to Don. He's done cracked at last. He was up all night watching black and white episodes of some stupid TV drama that was taped 60 years ago...he had his face smeared up against the TV with his mouth gaping open (OK, his mouth is usually like that, so that's not too weird). This morning, he starts seein' everything in monochrome. It all started when he told me, "Brother, that's a nice pair a' gray overalls. But YOU ain't lookin' so good. You're...like...really pale or somethin'." And I wasn't any more pale than usual, see. And my overalls are ALWAYS blue. I figured he was color-blind at first, but then he started sayin' my hairs was gettin' reeeeal gray. Then I KNEW somethin' was up. I was wearin' a hat. DON'T YOU COMMENT ON MY HAIR. I know I'm gettin' old, but I realize that on my own! I don't need a bunch of twerps commentin' about it! It's jerkin' my CHAIN, Fred! AND I DON'T NEED TO BREAK ANOTHER PENCIL!
  But Don's been a wreck all day today. He thought it snowed last night, too, because of his new grayscale eyeballs. Tortimer got a little riled up trying to explain it to him. I ain't seen him so mad since that time Isabelle lost his election campaign speech. I tells ya, I had some competition that day when it comes to blowin' tops!
  But anyways, we took Don to the doc this evening after the reset rush (yes, there's a reset rush). Dr. Shrunk claims he has a college education, but I don't believe him. He told Don to "drink lots of fluids and read magazines with LOTS of pictures in them." He gave him a whole stack to look at to "restore the color in his eyes." I don't know what that means. Shrunk has STACKS of Mole Monthly. I don't know why. He has the issue with the Mole-Ladies calendar, too. This year they dressed up like NFL cheerleaders. It's disturbing AND entertaining! Ladies and germs, the media! Oh! I think it means I oughta get monochrome vision too so I can get these free magazines. Ha! ...Why aren't you laughin'? Book. Right. But, still, Dr. Shrunk seems more like a perspiring comic than a doctor.
  I'm a great impressionist, by the way. I showed my talents off in some fighting tournament. I was hired as a...what was it again? System trope? I can't remember. But what does it matter? No one cared. Everyone kept fightin'. I dunno what they were fightin' for, but they were sure into it. Except for this blue porcupine guy that kept blaring "YOU'RE TOO SLOOOOW" at the top of his lungs over and over again while running in place. I...don't think I like him. He...rubbed me the wrong way, y'know? Kinda like...mixing guacamole and ratatouille. It's not a good combination.
  But I think I'm through for the night. My wrist hurts and I gotta sleep. I wonder what Don's doin'? He ain't made a peep all night.
  Well, Fred, I'll just leave you here at my desk tonight. I think I can trust Don. He's serious about this diary journal stuff.

Oh, but one last word of advice...

People like to say, "I could care less" to say that they don't care about somethin'. But if you could care less, that means you still care. You COULDN'T care less. But people SHOULD care about that little mistake. Got me?

Now...

SCRAM!!!!!
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yugioh20
 
Name
Rebecca
ACNL Town
Last Active
7/11/2018 3:23pm
it's the return of fred . i cant wait to read more
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"smart" and "wise" aren't always the same"-Vio, Four Swords Manga
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Bbykat51
 
Name
Kassie
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 5:59pm
Me too! I'm glad you brought Fred back, it's hilarious!
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
Entry #893

Dear Diary,

  Help, I'm seeing everything in monochrome! I dunno why it's still going on, but ever since I watched this drama last night that was in black-and-white (great series, check it out sometime), it's seared into my brain! It BOTHERS me, diary!
  But I'm still worried about Sonny. He's been writing in his diary with such force! Maybe it's relieving his tension some. I hear he made polite conversation with Coco. I'm sure it made her day.
  But lemme tell ya about that drama I watched...maybe it'll get my mind off of it to just tell someone about it who cares. And I know you care, Diary.
  Now, there was this girl named...oh...it was...I can't remember. Lemme go back and check. I wrote a little preview about it that I saw in the newspaper last night about it, maybe I mentioned her name...I gotta remember!


WAAAAUGH
OH, SNAP

  I'm sorry, Sonny! Er...Sonny's diary! Fred! Sonny! Whoever! I must not have noticed it was yours because of my monochrome vision! Don't worry, I didn't peek any more than two pages! I wouldn't read this anyway...it's serious stuff!
  I'll stop now...so sorry! Don't burn my pancakes for this!




Dear Fred,

  Well. I guess I done jinxed it. I SPECIFICALLY pleaded the old, "Ohhhhh, I can trust my own brother because he takes things SERIOUSLY..."
  And why, pray tell, would he have went OVER to my desk—which is, mind you, MY desk with MY things—DUG around IN MY THINGS, and found you laying on my desk beside that box of pizza from last week? I dunno. Maybe, perhaps, his finger slipped. Wait, that's for resetting...maybe his memory slipped. Maybe he was sleep-deprived from the big day we had yesterday. At least he said he was sorry, unlike those reset-happy little punks. RESET RESET RESET! And every time I come to lecture them, it's TAP TAP TAP! Pressing that A or B button to make me blab faster! The most I've counted is 10,457 times by some kid named Penny. I think I hate that button-happy punk. I hate a lot of people, come to think of it. Maybe that's why Don doesn't think I'm healthy. Oh, well. Maybe'll I'll get to retire soon! Ha ha h~

  Really? Another pencil? I think I should get one of those mechanical pencils...

WHOA.

Someone's comin' in the Reset Center!

INTRUDERS?!

INTRUDERS MY HAT!!

CODE 256! I gotta go wake up Don!

*5 minutes later*

  It was some (probably reset-happy) punk who thought he'd go "exploring" because Don left the manhole cover open again! I told him a thousand times that leaving the cover up gets GERMS in! Anyway, Sir Peek-A-Lot wouldn't scram until I gave him a silver shovel as a, uh..."peace offering." What a weirdo.
  But I'll shut up. You're probably tired of my yappin' by now, right? Not as interestin' as monochrome vision, am I right?!
  Well, I'll go, but not without saying one last thing...

I...really...watched my language today. Don's my brother, and I respect him A LITTLE BIT more than most other folks. But if he writes in my diary journal again, he'll never have another well-cooked pancake as long as he's still tunneling!

Now...

SCRAM!!!!!
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yugioh20
 
Name
Rebecca
ACNL Town
Last Active
7/11/2018 3:23pm
exelent chapter, i remember that one
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"smart" and "wise" aren't always the same"-Vio, Four Swords Manga
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Bbykat51
 
Name
Kassie
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 5:59pm
Killin' me with laughter!
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slrandall
 
Name
MissSue
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 9:09am
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weasleylover234
 
Last Active
4/22/2019 6:59pm
Lol Great story
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Bbykat51
 
Name
Kassie
ACNL Town
Last Active
5/24 5:59pm
Hey Ethan! Did Resetti lose his diary again??
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
Nope! I got a chapter right here! Thanks for sticking around!




DEAR STINKIN' FRED

OH, I'M SO MAD.

SO VERY ANGRY.

I BROKE A PENCIL BEFORE~

BEFORE I WROTE THE ENTRY! ARRRRRGH~

I've met my match today. He's 14 years old, dark-haired, and I'm POSITIVE he has red eyes...he's... DEREK.

The little punk-NO! Punk is too low term. In fact, I have so many names for him I can't write them down! I'd get fired! THEY'D FIND OUT. The little~

  The little hacker...that spitwad ain't just no stinkin' Action Replay "hacker," OHHHHH no. He spreads seeds like spores offa the fungus he is, and half the people in this town are animals I don't even recognize...one of them looks like and has the same name as Sonic the Hedgehog but he's a lion...and he had this Pikachu helmet on that looked just like the cat hat thing...and I don't recall Crazy Redd running Nookway! HE WAS SELLING A LIGHTSABER. And why was Saharah running the museum?! I'll tell ya why...he's a GOOD FOR NOTHIN' LITTLE TROLL, that's what he is...he's such a Derek...it's an evil little name for an evil little boy...in fact, he's not just Derek, he's DEREK.
  I met him this afternoon, at 3:04:56 PM. The current was heading northward. No, not the wind, the CURRENT. I popped up underwater!
  The whole TOWN was underwater. It took me twenty minutes until I reached his house IN THE WALL.
  I tried givin' that little DEREK a piece of my mind about his activities but he just stood there wigglin' around like he had to go potty, staring straight ahead and not caring. So, I tried makin' him parrot off embarrassin' stuff back to me like "I love Resetti!" and "I'm a stupid little hacker!" But he changed them all up and made me MAD. Then he entered and exited his house and suddenly I blacked out! I woke up in the Reset Center, tunneled back, and BOOM, there was a tree right where I was standing, of all the nerve this little...ARRRRRGH~
  I can't TAKE all of these snappin' pencils! I'm makin' a rut in the floor from me pacin' back n' forth to get more WRITIN' STICKS so I can WRITE about this little...this little... DEREK!! And if he thinks he's gonna get away with his crimes...HE'S GOT ANOTHER THINK COMING!!~

AAAARRRRRRRGH! I'm goin' to bed, Fred! Grandmama mole is comin' over tomorrow and I CAN'T STAND THAT WOMAN. But I got ONE LAST THING.

You punks think swag is cool? NO! The only coolness you got is that draft from your saggin' britches!

Now...

SCRAM!!!!!
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Humbi
 
Name
Laurel
ACNL Town
Last Active
12/26/2018 12:29pm
I'm glad this is back--please write more!  
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DaBraxMan
 
Name
Ethan
ACGC Town
Last Active
5/23 11:42pm
*sigh*...Dear Fred...

  What a day. What a day. Boy am I glad Grandmama Mole is gone...finally I can have some peace and quiet and not be yelled at for every thing I do. It's...really annoyin'. Lemme tell ya about this chick.
  Well, she's no "chick" I guess, but she's not necessarily the most respected member in our family. I'm certain most people don't care too much for her, even though they put on their nice face for the lady. Everyone thinks I'M bad. At least I ain't callin' kids everywhere fat and unmannerly...ok, maybe I do sometimes. But only when they deserve it! Do I deserve any of what she tells me? No! No I don't!
  First off, I get this feelin' Don's her favorite. She never burns HIS dinner when she comes to cook...but she cooks mine juuuust past how I like my foods. At first, I pretended not to notice...but after I told her exactly how I like them all polite-like, she told me somethin' like...


"You don't know what ya like, Sonny! Let Gramma Mole do the cookin'! You could stand some change anyway, how do you clip your diggin' claws?! I bet ya can't even see the ground ya walk on! Why can't you be more like your brother and slim up a bit?"



  I countered with a polite and quiet rebuttal that she was no skinny mole herself, and she responded by making me sit in the corner for twenty minutes and think about what I said. I'm over forty years old and she can still make me do that somehow. I dunno where the authority comes from. Maybe I oughta sic her on Derek...one of us will benefit in the long run. Ha ha ha ha!
  But that ain't all she's done. She reads us bedtime stories before she leaves. Somehow, in her fragile, senile mind, she is convinced that, despite our grayin' hairs and medical problems (well, MY medical problems, Don has OTHER problems), she gets this idea that we haven't really grown up and that we need a parental figure. The story this time was Seagull Seaman , some story about a pirate that eventually met an alien and started flyin' around in a UFO. Then some punk-o kid shot down the UFO with his slingshot, and they worked together to find his ship parts with the super power of teamwork, yaaaaaaay...
  Don was sittin' on her lap the whole time. He ALWAYS got to sit on Grandmama Mole's lap, but no, not I. Not this mole. I sat on the floor, subservient to the will of the mighty Grandmama Mole. I asked politely how come I never got to sit on her lap. She took one look at me and griped...

"I only got two good legs, Sonny, I can't afford to break one now."

  Another weight comment. I told her I NOTICE what I've got. Then she says to me...

"Well, why ain't ya done somethin' about it then? It's for the good of everyone! You'll smother to death one of these days from not bein' able to take a peek over that mountain of yours called a gut! You look like you're with child!"

  I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the night. Ya can't fight Grandmama Mole. She fights back. With a dishtowel. Yeah. We've had a history.

  But yeah, it's been a long day and I need my sleep. But just one last thing...

Don't let Grandmama Mole I wrote in ya-NO! WAIT! Don't tell her you EXIST. You're an English-Spanish dictionary around her...OK, señor Fred?

Now...

SCRAM!!!!!
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Creative Writing Board » Topic: The Diary of Resetti -- Written in a Fred

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