We should have something telling us if someones added us or not, or maybe having to ask people and then they confirm or something?

I find it annoying when random people just add you to their BT.
And other threads.. etc.

Nice idea in itself, but do you really need to know if someone's added you to their buddy list? It's not like you can say no. I don't think a confirmation system would really work - I think it's nice to be able to see who of your friends are online easily. If you want to add a friend to your buddies, you shouldn't need to have a confirmation whether they're your friend or not, if that makes sense.

In the event you get added to a 'random' BT or thread, just remove from it.

The reason facebook and those websites have buddy requests is because you can see so much about them if you are buddies.  On ACC you just see when they are online (which you can see anyway) and make it easier for them to add you to PT's.

Also, if you do not want to be in their BT, post and tell them not to add you again, then remove.  If they add you again, report them for harassment.

The buddy system has some other uses too. For example, when I was a Surveyor at JUG, I used the buddy system to easily add the department management to my PTs. I'm sure lots of other people use this system, and having to go through and confirm each person would be a pain.

i would like to know that somebody has added me as their buddy, even if i dont have to agree to them adding me before they do. i think that a notice that you hsve been added would be useful, even if it is not a request

It may be useful, on another site there was a "Users who have added me". Could that be implemented?

I think the reason that we do not have this is a few reasons. If you have someone on your list, and they don't have you, there are some people that can start trolling over that. I don't think we should stop people adding people to their buddy list, as I know a lot of members like to add the staff, but we would not want them all added to ours.

Remember that our lists are limited.