Please continue posting jokes in this new thread. NOTE: Any posts that say nothing but "First post! Yes!" or "2nd post!" or anything that is just spamming the new thread, will be deleted. Thanks in advance for not doing this.

THE RULES

1. Absolutely no dirty jokes. No swearing. No sex stuff. Only squeaky clean jokes allowed.

2. No jokes that make fun of people ... based on their race, religion, nationality, gender, hair color, etc... And please: NO "Yo Mama" jokes. They always offend someone and always get reported.

3. If you're not sure if it's appropriate or not, then DON'T POST IT. Trust me, it's better to be safe than sorry.

4. No links, this means you cannot post a link to a picture or a website. This will prevent accidental linking to inappropriate sites.

5. Do not copy anything you've seen on the net or gotten in a e-mail and paste it here without reviewing it first. This means the lists of "funny" things you may find. Those lists are usually inappropriate and people do not already proof-read them before they post them. Also, please do not post really long lists or they'll be deleted.

6. Do not post one-word or sentence comments, or emoticons, in reply to jokes, UNLESS you are also posting a joke yourself. We don't want pages and pages of "LOL", "Nice One", "XD", etc.

NEW RULE

7. From now on, we will not allow Chuck Norris jokes/facts on this thread. Most members find them annoying, they're not really jokes, and, let's be honest here guys, we are completely over the whole Chuck Norris thing. Any "Chuck Norris" facts will be removed as spam.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The barman says, "what is this, some kind of joke?"

My favourite joke. Ever. I don't know why people don't laugh.

what side of a hedgehog is the sharpest?

the outside

bad, I know

3rd Post!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo BEEP BEEP!

OK.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!

Lame, I know.

Two Polar Bears in the bath, one says "Pass the soap."
The other replies "No soap, radio."

What has 9 backs, 36 legs and is very thirsty?
A stack of chairs going into a bar.

What has 1 back, 4 legs, is very thirsty and lonely?
The chair that fell off the stack.

Mrs. Stupid is in a bar, when her mobile rings, a call from her friend, whose name is Ms. Bloggs().
"Hello, there, Mrs. Stupid." Says Ms Bloggs.
"Hi, there, Mrs Bloggs," says Mrs. Stupid. "How did you know I was here?"


I went into hysterics when I first heard that joke...
but I'm not sure if it's that funny anymore.

KNOCK KNOCK JOKE TIME!!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow!
Interrupt-
MOO!!

My friend told me that one a while ago... took me ages to figure it out.

Here's one to try on your friends:
You: Say knock knock
Friends: knock knock
You: Who's there?

How many lame people does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.

Why did the teacher call the kid the "brightist kid in class"?

He had a lightbulb.

Just so you know, CHUCK NORRIS JOKES ARE TEH PWNSOME.

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

How do spiders surf the web.
With a surfboard and web, of course.

This guy walked into a bar and said ow.....
What would you say if you walked into a bar?

A CLASSIC

y was 6 afraid of 7?
789

What's green and brown, has 6 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would probably kill you? A pool table, of course. If it did fall out of a tree.

^POOL TABLES HAVE FOAR LEGS!

How many Narutos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but it takes thirteen episodes.

There's six in a normal sized pool table, four on the small. I'm talking about the normal ones.

:U

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Cuz roads weren't invented yet.

what do you call a donkey with 3 legs?

A wonkee


lol

"My dog has no legs!" said the 1st man
"Whats his name?" asked the second
"Cigarette"
"o really? Why d'you call him that?"

"because every night, I take him out for a drag!"

XD lollerz